Day 303: Just a Pause

I was informed two days ago about passing away of someone in my extended family. Though I cannot travel back and be with those who might need it at this moment, you cannot help but take a pause in your own life trying to recollect times, old pictures that are black and white and memories that are in color. They are about, trying to relive a time that used to be, pull out old nostalgia and reminisce in what used to be. I wonder if we value something differently when you know situations have changed, when you know you have lost chances of changing that something. T.S. Eliot wrote, "I will show you fear in a handful of dust", maybe of what we were and what may become. For now, I take these pauses, an ode to what remains in memory and some that flies away.

Just a Pause
Sometimes no reason is needed to simply write
To just take a pause and in the void look for insight
When we were children we would erase & redraw
We were told to believe we could correct all flaws

The cruel winter it keeps knocking on my window
It covers the ground white and recreates a show
Much that lies buried and covered in the white
Even warm memories that for now seem to be quiet

I will show you that no time is enough time
That we cannot plan for whimsy or even find a rhyme
Some rough edges of the writings they remain
But they are our go to places, that stop us from going insane

There are some things I have been forbidden to see or feel
I have been told that some of this only time must heal
So I plan for that which I can never foresee
I just take a pause from nothing more but me

As the ground freezes over and as the snow may silently melt
There is much work to be done, there is much more to dwell
I am certain that some things will never have just cause
So I find escape in writing, for now as you know me I am just a pause